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Encroaching armadillos inspire yoga trend

in Health
Armadillo yoga

With armadillo sightings on the rise in southeast Tennessee, due to the nocturnal mammals’ attraction to warm climates, yoga enthusiasts have found a way to incorporate the animals into their sessions. This follows a national trend, which has been embraced by Chattanoogans, to involve various animals in yoga classes, including…

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“Coyotes are motherfuckers” warns Tenn. Wildlife Dept.

in Health
Urban coyote

The Tennessee Wildlife Department warned today at a press conference that coyote sightings have been on the rise around Chattanooga and that coyotes are a bunch of bloodthirsty motherfuckers. “These assholes won’t think twice about ripping apart your precious little chihuahua or fluffy kitty cat,” said Rita Viscobb, a representative…

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Harrison Keely not selected as sexiest male alive once again

in Culture/Health

In a decision many saw as somewhat heartbreaking, former Chattanooga news personality Harrison Keely once again failed to be named sexiest male alive.  Formerly the online news producer for the Chattanooga Times Free Press, Keely moved to Las Vegas where he believed chances of becoming the sexiest man alive would be…

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TEMA bans Wind and Fire from upcoming Earth, Wind & Fire concert

in Culture/Health
Earth, Wind & Fire

The Tennessee Emergency Management Agency (TEMA) announced that it has banned Wind and Fire from the upcoming Earth, Wind & Fire concert scheduled for March 15, 2017 at Chattanooga’s Memorial Auditorium. “We can’t take any chances,” said TEMA representative Kelly Conpuro. “Wind and fire is a deadly combination, as we…

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Experts warn of Southside “condom desert” after closing of Chuck’s

in Business/Health
Chuck's, the Condom Shop on Main Street

Urban planning experts have warned city officials that the upcoming closing of the Main Street nightclub Chuck’s, a.k.a. “The Condom Shop,” would leave a “condom desert” in the Southside after October 22. Much like an urban “food desert,” which is a location that lacks convenient access to grocery stores, a…

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Study: 40% of all local businesses to be yoga-related by 2020

in Business/Health
Yoga (Used under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/J9CcVh)

A study released today by the Tennessee Department of Commerce predicted that by the year 2020, approximately 40% of all Chattanooga businesses will be yoga-related. “It’s blowing up!” said local yoga expert, Rain Summerberry. “Back in August, we had the debut of the Southern Bend Yoga Festival, and two weeks…

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Insurers to create GoFundMe campaigns for policy holders before price hikes

in Health/Politics
GoFundMe

Health insurers in Tennessee have announced that they will automatically create individual GoFundMe campaigns for each ObamaCare exchange plan policy holder for convenience, after it was announced that Tennessee regulators had approved large increases in individual rates for 2017. Tennessee’s largest health insurer, BlueCross BlueShield of Tennessee, was approved for…

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