Friends of the Festival hoping COVID-19 sticks around long enough to blame it on low Riverbend turnout

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After many music festivals around the globe are canceling upcoming events due to the COVID-19 outbreak, a spokeswoman for Friends of the Festival announced they believe the outbreak will probably, or I’m sure most definitely cause a low turnout for this years Riverbend festival.

“Oh man, it’s really too bad that :cough cough: I won’t be able to make it to Riverbend this year :cough cough: really sad, yeah,” explained Riverbend executive director Mickey McCamish festival attendee Charlie Bendsmen. “I know there’s hundreds more that feel the same, probably even tens of thousands, really sad, bummer.”

“We knew that knocking off a few days will bring down the turnout, explained Friends of the Festival spokeswomen Karen Sanders, “I’m pretty sure this Coronavirus or whatever will cause us to limit the festival to probably 1 day, or maybe just 30 minutes.”

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