Chattanooga Police Department mobile app

Chattanooga Police app includes “Hot Cop” slideshow feature

in Politics

The Chattanooga Police Department (CPD) unveiled its new mobile app this afternoon on Facebook Live and demonstrated several of its features, including the ability to submit anonymous tips, use crime maps and view a “Hot Cop” slideshow of alluring local officers.

“You have the right to remain sexy,” said Chattanooga Police Chief Pat Murkaster to a photo on the mobile phone in his hand, during the live demonstration of the app. “There are some things – or people – you wouldn’t mind being held against you in a court of law.”

“We are proud to have many brave officers on our police force, who all happen to have smokin’ hot bods,” said Murkaster.

“Now, get a load of these guns,” said Murkaster, who pointed to a row of male officers who ripped off their shirts, revealing their chiseled torsos, and started writhing to the sounds of “Hot Cop” by Village People.

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children's children, and for our children's children's grandparents - which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible "Mmmrph! Mmmrph!" sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling - and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.