This year, for the Chattanooga Times Free Press‘ annual “Best of the Best” awards gala, organizers took it into an edgy, new direction by having it hosted by the 32 criminals deemed the “Worst of the Worst” by the Chattanooga Police Department in 2013. Accusations of being racist were not…
Jorge Mario Bergoglio aka Pope Francis announced during his visit to the United States that he plans to make a stop in Chattanooga over the weekend. He surprised onlookers by revealing he has entered the IRONMAN competition. This marks the first time in history that any living Pope has participated…
Just in time for the fall season, automaker Volkswagen announced today that it would offer a pumpkin-spice emissions system as a stopgap measure for its controversial diesel cars that were programmed to only use full emissions controls during official testing. “Sure, these diesel cars may emit up to 40 times…
Automaker Volkswagen has halted plans to offer an “inflatable passenger” option in new cars for carpool lane users after allegations emerged from the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) that the software running on 482,000 diesel cars – including the 2014 and 2015 Passat manufactured in Chattanooga – was essentially a “defeat…
A local woman was hailed as a hero this afternoon after rescuing former Congressional candidate Weston Wamp from a locked car in 88-degree weather in the Hamilton Place Mall parking lot. “I was on my way back to my car, and I saw him, just sitting there in the back…
The artisanal, high-end coffee shop Grounds For Divorce announced that it had banned all hipsters from entering its premises in a well-thought-out plan. “Nobody wearing a vintage t-shirt or neon plastic sunglasses or carrying a book by Jacques Lacan or Chuck Palahniuk is welcome here,” said a spokesperson for Grounds…
During today’s campaign stop in Chattanooga, Republican Presidential hopeful Marco Rubio took time from his tour of the city to make a stop by the up-and-coming MLK mural being painted by a group of local artists. While at the site, Mr. Rubio took it upon himself to draw a sizable penis…
After Knoxville defeated Chattanooga in the online “Top Towns” contest from Blue Ridge Outdoors magazine to determine the best outdoor city in the American South, it further asserted its dominance by imprisoning Mayor Andy Berke in the iconic Sunsphere. “How d’ya like them apples?” said Knoxville mayor Madeline Rogero, while…
