Monthly archive

July 2014

Santorum gushes for Weston Wamp

in Politics
Weston Wamp

Santorum profusely and passionately gushed, aimed at 3rd Congressional District Republican candidate Weston Wamp, it was announced this morning. “This overflowing outpouring of Santorum is something I have desired for a long time,” said Wamp. “I’m so pleased – is it all over my face? I just want to eat…

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Sen. Corker and wife have victory sex after VW announcement

in Business/Politics
Sen. Bob Corker and wife Elizabeth

After Volkswagen announced yesterday that it would manufacture its new SUV, the CrossBlue, in Chattanooga, Senator Bob Corker and his wife Elizabeth celebrated by having victory sex. “It’s time, baby,” mouthed Corker to his wife standing offstage, shortly after Volkswagen’s news conference in Wolfsburg, Germany, where Mayor Andy Berke, Hamilton…

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Study: Chattanooga is most gullible city in nation

in Education
Chattanooga (Used under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/9DUuZP)

A study recently published in the American Journal of Psychology concluded that Chattanooga was the most gullible city in the nation. The study was conducted over five years with over 9000 adult participants who resided in cities with populations of 100,000 or greater, with the cooperation of 35 colleges and…

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Track 29 becomes all-acoustic venue to resolve noise issue

in Culture
Kingston Trio

Representatives for the Southside music venue Track 29 announced earlier today that it would begin to only host acoustic shows, without additional amplification, in order to address complaints from nearby residents and landowners that certain concerts are too loud. “We have a great deal of confidence that this will be…

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Chattanooga Whiskey founder’s mustache resigns

in Business/Food/Drink
Chattanooga Whiskey founder's mustache

The mustache of Joe Ledbetter – best known as the founding mustache of Chattanooga Whiskey – has officially announced its resignation from the Chattanooga Whiskey Company and Tennessee Stillhouse. In June, the mustache performed field tests of Chattanooga Whiskey and came to the conclusion that “It works!” after being arrested…

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