Monthly archive

June 2014

Man Xpo about sports, trucks and perpetuating patriarchal hegemony

in Culture/Sports/Rec
"Macho Man" Randy Savage (Used under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/6To3sn)

Man Xpo, called “Chattanooga’s first manly man event,” will celebrate sports, hunting, trucks, cigars, beer and the perpetuation of the patriarchal hegemony today at Finley Stadium and the First Tennessee Pavilion. “James Brown sang, ‘It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World,’ and no truer words have been sung,” said Man Xpo…

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New Police Chief gets non-traditional 21-gun salute during first week of job

in Politics
Gun (Used under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/34NpRX)

Chattanooga’s new Police Chief Fred Fletcher was greeted during his first official week on the job with a non-traditional 21-gun salute. “Welcome to Chattanooga!” said an unnamed resident wearing pantyhose over his head, before discharging all rounds of a Glock pistol while waving it around, as part of the unsanctioned…

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City approves changing bakery’s doughnut mural to dildo mural

in Business/Culture
Doughnut mural at Broad St. and West 20th St.

After Chattanooga city inspectors told Koch’s Bakery on Broad Street that the nearby flying-doughnut mural the bakery commissioned was an illegal form of advertising, citing Chattanooga’s sign ordinance, the inspectors were placated by the bakery’s new plans to change the mural to become a landscape of dildos. “Koch’s isn’t selling…

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All nine Chattanooga soccer fans gather to watch World Cup

in Sports/Rec
Soccer (Used under the CC-BY-SA-3.0 license. Source: tinyurl.com/pksshq2)

Last evening at the local Irish pub Shane MacGowan’s Teeth, all nine soccer fans in Chattanooga gathered to watch the U.S.A. team defeat Ghana in a 2-to-1 victory at the 2014 World Cup in Brazil. “We did it! We did it!” said resident Corbin Wegner, a longtime fan of the…

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Little Debbie adds competitive eating to Ironman Chattanooga

in Food/Drink/Sports/Rec
Ironman competition (Modified under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/fw6sWK)

After officially becoming the title sponsor of the inaugural Chattanooga Ironman competition, snack food company Little Debbie and its parent company McKee Foods announced that it would add a competitive eating section to the race. “The Ironman triathlon is an institution in the world of athletics,” said Little Debbie spokesperson…

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Faith and Family Night headliner TobyMac revealed to be CeeLo Green in disguise.

in Riverbend

Riverbend’s Faith and Family night headliner TobyMac was discovered this afternoon to be none other than singer CeeLo Green in disguise. Mr. Green was banned by festival organizers last year after a profanity-laden performance that upset many Riverbend attendees. “We noticed something was amiss when Mr Mac arrived a bit…

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Basil Marceaux makes surprise appearance at Riverbend’s Silent Disco

in Riverbend

To much surprise for many in attendance at tonight’s Silent Disco during Riverbend, former Tennessee Republican gubernatorial nominee and entrepreneur Basil Marceaux added DJ to his ever growing repertoire. Marceaux explained to Riverbend officials he hopes his beats will “make the people of the silent disco feel freer than they did yesterday.” “It’s… it’s…

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Riverbend to suck 15% less this year, say organizers

in Culture/Riverbend
Riverbend Festival (Used under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/4UqNjT)

Friends of the Festival, the presenters of the annual Riverbend Music Festival, have announced that they guarantee that this year’s festival, which runs from June 6 until June 14, will suck at least 15% less than in previous years. “We have been paying attention to your comments, angry and confused…

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