June 2013

Paula Deen buys Sluggo’s Vegetarian Café

The embattled celebrity Southern-cooking chef Paula Deen, who has recently endured widespread criticism for admitting to using a racial slur in the past, is seeing her empire slowly crumble, having her TV show “Paula’s Home Cooking” dropped by the Food Network and endorsement deals severed with Smithfield Foods and Wal-Mart, among others. However, Deen has

Mayor Berke posts twerking videos to reach young adults


At a press conference yesterday afternoon, Mayor Berke revealed a new 21st century initiative to reach young-adult constituents through homemade twerking videos posted to the Internet. Berke unveiled his new Tumblr blog, entitled “Look At This Twerking Mayor,” which features a new, short video every weekday of Berke providing a positive message while twerking, which

Chattanooga Stunt visioning initiative seeks 1 million surveys: “Let’s reinvent the wheel”

At a press conference Friday afternoon, a new community visioning initiative was unveiled with a distinctive, eye-catching yellow-and-black logo, called Chattanooga Stunt which seeks to help shape the future of the city by asking one million Chattanooga residents to complete a short survey about their concerns and ideas. “You might be thinking, isn’t one million

Riverbend organizers give up, outsource Insane Clown Posse


At a press conference yesterday afternoon it was announced that Friends of the Festival, the organization that coordinates the annual Riverbend music festival, has outsourced next year’s event and all future events to the Michigan horrorcore hip-hop duo Insane Clown Posse. “We give up,” said head Riverbend organizer Ginger Dewarr. “We are sick of it,

Christian band Newsboys banned from Riverbend after offensive performance


The headlining act of the 2013 Riverbend Festival’s Family & Faith Night, the Australian Christian rock band Newsboys, has been banned from performing at future Riverbend Festivals after a controversial Tuesday night performance. The band members, clad in black leather clothing, gave a performance filled with gratuitous nudity, onstage drinking and copious profanity. “We received

Officials Announce Bessie Smith Strut Now a “Profanity Free Zone”


In an effort to keep the wholesome family friendly image that Riverbend is known for, officials announced that today’s Bessie Smith Strut will become a “profanity free zone.” The news comes a day after the controversial decision to ban dropped; yet rehired singer Cee Lo Green after a profanity filled performance at the festival on

Strut renamed “Bessie and Will Smith Strut”


At a press conference Friday afternoon, it was announced by representatives of the Bessie Smith Cultural Center that the Bessie Smith Strut—the popular annual street party event held on ML King Blvd. as part of Riverbend—was to be renamed “The Bessie and Will Smith Strut,” by unanimous decision of the organizers. The new name comes

The Paul Barys Jazz Explosion Announces Debut Show at Riverbend


Local weatherman and apparent Jazz enthusiast Paul Barys announced today that his Jazz group, “The Paul Barys Jazz Explosion” will make their debut at the upcoming 2013 Riverbend Festival. The group, which features Barys on Piano, Fats Colman on the bass, Skeeter McDuffin on the Drums, and rival news station reporter Calvin Sneed on tambourine

Riverbend drops Cee Lo, citing ban on “current, popular and relevant” acts


To the disappointment of many Chattanooga music fans, it was announced today at a press conference by the Friends of the Festival, the group that organizes the Riverbend music festival, that unfortunately Cee Lo Green was dropped from the 2013 Riverbend lineup. The reason behind the cancellation was a rule that has been in effect