Hipster lanes to be added to MLK Boulevard

in Culture/Politics

The Chattanooga Department of Transportation announced today that eastbound and westbound hipster lanes would be added to a section of East M.L. King Boulevard as part of its repaving project. “It’s no secret that hipsters have overrun Chattanooga,” said Kelly Dowdeshell, the Chattanooga Department of Transportation’s administrator. “Adding hipster lanes…

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Chattanooga man starting to believe Chattanooga Chuck full of shit

in Culture

After almost a week of 70 degree plus high temperatures, Chattanooga resident Sylvester Kimble announced he is starting to distrust Groundhog Chattanooga Chucks forecasting abilities. The announcement comes just weeks after Chattanooga Chuck saw his shadow and predicted six more weeks of winter. Experts believe Mr. Kimble may have missed…

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Amazon passes up East Ridge for HQ2

in Business

After much deliberation by Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, it was unfortunately announced that East Ridge would not be on the list to get Amazon’s second headquarters. The heartbreaking news was delivered by East Ridge Mayor Earl Ridge to its citizens as they tearfully retreated into the cities variety of pawn…

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