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Riverbend

Riverbend attendees urged to pretend they’re at Bonnaroo, not shower to conserve water

in Culture/Riverbend

After Tennessee American Water asked customers east of Missionary Ridge to curb water usage, due to major repair work on a broken valve, Riverbend attendees were urged to pretend they’re at Bonnaroo by not showering. “Some consider Riverbend to be the cheaper, county-fair-style alternative to the more renowned Bonnaroo,” said…

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Bryan College President Stephen Livesay forcing faith and family night performers to sign statement of belief

in Education/Riverbend

While acts were arriving for Riverbend’s annual Faith and Family night, Bryan College President Stephen Livesay was spotted forcing artists so sign a statement of belief, an act he was highly scrutinized for some years ago. Sources say Livesay quickly approached headliner Crowder as he arrived at the festival grounds,…

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Bessie Smith descendants recall her favorite hipster craft beer bars during Strut

in Culture/Riverbend

While hundreds crowd Martin Luther King Jr Boulevard for Riverbend’s Bessie Smith Strut, descendants of the late Chattanooga singer reflect of her favorite hipster craft beer spots. Reporters caught up with Smith’s descendants as they enjoyed the Strut’s fried chicken offerings while surrounded by a group of drunk caucasians. “When…

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Singing man shocks Riverbend Festival attendees with profanity-ridden performance (NOT REAL)

in Culture/Riverbend

During his Saturday night performance at the 2017 Riverbend Festival, former Eagles member song singing man sent attendances home shocked and upset with his profanity-laced lyrics. All of this happened just an hour before the 9:30 headliner Ludacris took the stage with his family friendly show. The night began to…

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Riverbend organizers wake from 19-year cryogenic hibernation, book hottest bands from 1996

in Culture/Riverbend

At a press conference yesterday afternoon, organizers of the annual Riverbend summer music festival announced the final lineup for this year’s event, after being cryogenically frozen for nearly two decades. “We listened to all of you who said to us, ‘Show me the money!’” said Riverbend organizer Joselyn Boykinns. “We…

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Faith and Family Night headliner TobyMac revealed to be CeeLo Green in disguise.

in Riverbend

Riverbend’s Faith and Family night headliner TobyMac was discovered this afternoon to be none other than singer CeeLo Green in disguise. Mr. Green was banned by festival organizers last year after a profanity-laden performance that upset many Riverbend attendees. “We noticed something was amiss when Mr Mac arrived a bit…

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Basil Marceaux makes surprise appearance at Riverbend’s Silent Disco

in Riverbend

To much surprise for many in attendance at tonight’s Silent Disco during Riverbend, former Tennessee Republican gubernatorial nominee and entrepreneur Basil Marceaux added DJ to his ever growing repertoire. Marceaux explained to Riverbend officials he hopes his beats will “make the people of the silent disco feel freer than they did yesterday.” “It’s… it’s…

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