Health - Page 2

Experts warn of Southside “condom desert” after closing of Chuck’s

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Urban planning experts have warned city officials that the upcoming closing of the Main Street nightclub Chuck’s, a.k.a. “The Condom Shop,” would leave a “condom desert” in the Southside after October 22. Much like an urban “food desert,” which is a location that lacks convenient access to grocery stores, a “condom desert” would be a

Study: 40% of all local businesses to be yoga-related by 2020

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A study released today by the Tennessee Department of Commerce predicted that by the year 2020, approximately 40% of all Chattanooga businesses will be yoga-related. “It’s blowing up!” said local yoga expert, Rain Summerberry. “Back in August, we had the debut of the Southern Bend Yoga Festival, and two weeks ago, we had the Divine

Guy who eats 13 Little Debbie snack cakes a day wins IRONMAN

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In a shocking turn of events at this years Chattanooga IRONMAN, participant and 350lb Little Debbie enthusiast Todd Linderman came in first place over all. Linderman’s win puts to rest the irony thought by many of having a fatty junk food maker the sponsor of a world class triathlon. “He was trailing behind the last

Insurers to create GoFundMe campaigns for policy holders before price hikes

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Health insurers in Tennessee have announced that they will automatically create individual GoFundMe campaigns for each ObamaCare exchange plan policy holder for convenience, after it was announced that Tennessee regulators had approved large increases in individual rates for 2017. Tennessee’s largest health insurer, BlueCross BlueShield of Tennessee, was approved for a 62 percent increase in

Local gangs agree to truce over bathroom bread thawing

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After weeks of relentless violence, representatives from Chattanooga area gangs have agreed to a cease fire. Members say the shocking revelation of a local restaurant thawing out their sandwich bread in bathrooms have rendered members in a disgusted state where the willpower to continue drive-by shootings and stabbings has stopped. “Shooting up a house over

Local girlfriends release study linking semen consumption with cancer

The results of a scientific study were released today by a group of local girlfriends, in cooperation with the UT College of Medicine in Chattanooga, linking the consumption of semen with an increased risk of cancer. The study’s results were published on the same day that a completely different study was published in the medical

VW offers pumpkin-spice emissions system for rigged diesel cars

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Just in time for the fall season, automaker Volkswagen announced today that it would offer a pumpkin-spice emissions system as a stopgap measure for its controversial diesel cars that were programmed to only use full emissions controls during official testing. “Sure, these diesel cars may emit up to 40 times the acceptable limit of unhealthy

VW halts “inflatable passenger” option for carpool lane users

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Automaker Volkswagen has halted plans to offer an “inflatable passenger” option in new cars for carpool lane users after allegations emerged from the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) that the software running on 482,000 diesel cars – including the 2014 and 2015 Passat manufactured in Chattanooga – was essentially a “defeat device” for emissions testing. The