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Golden Corral’s “Pay Your Age” promotion fails to draw crowds

in Business/Food/Drink
Senior lady

Golden Corral restaurants in the Chattanooga area failed to draw huge crowds today for its one-day-only “Pay Your Age” promotion. “We really didn’t think this one through,” said restaurant manager Pat Sanesca. “We should’ve known that our core customers are all senior citizens in their 60s, 70s, 80s or older.”…

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EPB urges use of paper porn during Internet outage

in Business/Culture
Used under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/ZtS2J
Used under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/ZtS2J

Power company and Internet provider EPB asked its customers to use paper porn during a temporary Internet outage earlier today. “For many of you, we know, based on your Internet browsing history, that online porn is a part of your lives, morning, noon and night,” said EPB representative Kris Sobiscan.…

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Royal honeymoon mistakenly booked at King’s Lodge

in Business/Culture
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. Inset: King's Lodge.

Amid speculation regarding where newlyweds Prince Harry and Meghan Markle would spend their honeymoon, it was revealed that in a colossal error, their matrimonial vacation was booked at King’s Lodge in Chattanooga. According to a spokesperson, the hotel was booked after the royal family’s travel agent read a glowing article…

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Yodeling Kid, Sweet Potato Pie Guy to have sing-off at local Walmart

in Business/Culture
"Yodeling Kid" Mason Ramsey (left), "Patti Pie Guy" James Wright (right)

In what is being billed as “The Battle of the Singing Walmart Viral Video Stars,” the eleven-year-old “Yodeling Kid” Mason Ramsey and the “Patti Pie Guy” James Wright will have a sing-off Wednesday, May 9, at the Gunbarrel Road Walmart. Ramsey earned quick fame from a viral video of him…

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