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Royal honeymoon mistakenly booked at King’s Lodge

in Business/Culture
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. Inset: King's Lodge.

Amid speculation regarding where newlyweds Prince Harry and Meghan Markle would spend their honeymoon, it was revealed that in a colossal error, their matrimonial vacation was booked at King’s Lodge in Chattanooga. According to a spokesperson, the hotel was booked after the royal family’s travel agent read a glowing article…

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Yodeling Kid, Sweet Potato Pie Guy to have sing-off at local Walmart

in Business/Culture
"Yodeling Kid" Mason Ramsey (left), "Patti Pie Guy" James Wright (right)

In what is being billed as “The Battle of the Singing Walmart Viral Video Stars,” the eleven-year-old “Yodeling Kid” Mason Ramsey and the “Patti Pie Guy” James Wright will have a sing-off Wednesday, May 9, at the Gunbarrel Road Walmart. Ramsey earned quick fame from a viral video of him…

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Developers urge city to address vacation-homeless issue

in Business/Politics
Vacation house

Local housing developers have urged the city government to address the vacation-homeless issue that has plagued Chattanooga – that is, the issue of homeowners who only have a primary residence and do not own a vacation home. “Can you believe that the majority of Chattanooga homeowners only have one house…

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Amazon passes up East Ridge for HQ2

in Business

After much deliberation by Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, it was unfortunately announced that East Ridge would not be on the list to get Amazon’s second headquarters. The heartbreaking news was delivered by East Ridge Mayor Earl Ridge to its citizens as they tearfully retreated into the cities variety of pawn…

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Mayor Berke changes name to “Andy Bitcoin”

in Business/Politics
Andy Berke

At a press conference yesterday, Chattanooga Mayor Andy Berke announced that he had changed his name to “Andy Bitcoin.” “Boom!” said Berke, who arrived at the press conference riding a hoverboard and wearing futuristic wrap-around sunglasses and a shiny suit made of Mylar-like material. “Now that’s what I call the…

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New Chattanooga Realtor mistakenly takes promotional picture in front of Olgiati Bridge

in Business

After being drawn to Chattanooga by excessive internet speeds and overpriced gentrified real estate, newly licensed real estate agent, Chad Mullmens released his first promotional photo in front of the Olgiati Bridge. Such a choice for photo location has been called questionable by other seasoned Chattanooga realtors. “I heard that…

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Local women transformed into fashion experts after visiting new H&M

in Business
H&M store

Thousands of Chattanooga women were instantly transformed into fashion experts after simply visiting the newly opened H&M clothing store at the Hamilton Place Mall. “I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it,” said resident Gladys Farngully. “They walked in as frumpy housewives. They walked out as chic, metropolitan…

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