Business - Page 13

Clerical error blamed for Presidential tour of North Shore barge


The City of Chattanooga has blamed a clerical error for a mix-up regarding President Barack Obama’s visit, which led the Presidential entourage to tour the infamous deteriorating North Shore barge—widely considered to be an eyesore and embarrassment—instead of the flourishing Amazon fulfillment center as expected. After Obama stepped out of the presidential limousine and onto

BREAKING: Whirlpool Announces It Has Been Successfully Shamed

BREAKING: A representative from the Whirlpool Corporation announced this morning that the company has successfully and sufficiently been shamed. “We will now attempt to awaken the two gentlemen, who have been at our necks for many months, and comply with whatever shaming they have in mind,” exclaimed Whirlpool PR spokesmen Todd Harris. It is believed

Tennessee Aquarium Announces Opening of Recycled Seafood Restaurant


In an effort to further advocate Chattanooga’s green movement, Tennessee Aquarium officials announced plans to open a seafood restaurant within the coming months. After admitting deceased animals were ultimately being tossed into the Tennessee River, Aquarium officials have decided to make use of the dead animals by deep frying and serving them within a 2000

Postponed July 4th fireworks to be combined with detonation of North Shore barge


Chattanooga residents were sorely disappointed when severe weather caused the annual Coolidge Park fireworks and outdoor concert to be cancelled, but the City of Chattanooga announced yesterday afternoon at a press conference a way to turn that disappointment into triumph, by combining a postponed fireworks display with the detonation of the controversial North Shore barge.

Bike Chattanooga to introduce jetpack rentals in 2014


Bike Chattanooga, the group that administers Chattanooga’s bike-sharing program, has received scrutiny lately, with concerns that it will be able to be profitable, after exhausting most of a $2 million federal grant yet only generating a small fraction of that in revenue so far. At a press conference today, Bike Chattanooga director Taylor Vettellini unveiled

Chattanooga Community Kitchen Announces Partnership with Ruth’s Chris Steak House


In a press release by Chattanooga Community Kitchen spokesmen Kenneth Tillman, it was announced that the areas homeless shelter and food kitchen has formed a partnership with the newly opened high class-dining establishment, Ruth’s Chris Steak House. Plans for the partnership include a school bus shuttle from the Community Kitchens Downtown location to the front

Just Busted magazine offers new dating service

Just Busted is a Red Bank, Tenn.-based weekly publication that features mugshots taken from police department arrest records, with several editions covering various regions across the nation, and the magazine’s publishers announced at a press conference yesterday that they have expanded their operations, now offering a dating service to allow readers with romantic intentions to

Little Debbie commemorates 175th anniversary of Cherokee removal with “Trail Mix of Tears”


Known as part of the “Trail of Tears,” the forced removal of Cherokee people from the Southeast to the Indian Territory west of the Mississippi River began in May 1838, with this year marking its 175th anniversary. While this was a regrettable episode in American history which resulted in an estimated 4,000 deaths of Cherokee

Warehouse Row announces addition of Wal-Mart Supercenter.


With hopes to increase traffic and customer base to the upscale shopping mall, Warehouse Row owners announced a deal has been made to bring retail giant Wal-Mart to its famous downtown Chattanooga location. In recent years, Warehouse Row has suffered a decrease in business and customer visits. Critics attribute this to the lack of variety

Chattanooga brothel was front for hypnosis clinic: “We will not tolerate hypnosis” says Police Chief

Chattanooga Police cracked down yesterday on a local brothel that was discovered to actually be a front for an illegal hypnosis clinic, as part of a sting operation by the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation working in conjunction with local officers. “We will not tolerate hypnosis in this city,” said Chattanooga Police Chief Stanley Molloney at