Category archive

Business

Moxy, EPB to harness fucking as renewable energy source

in Business

Moxy Hotel and EPB unveiled today a plan to expand local renewable energy sources by harnessing the power of fucking at Moxy’s Chattanooga location. “It feels good to be environmentally conscious,” said Ashley Hawkittel, a representative for the partnership. “You know what else feels good? Fucking.” Hawkittel explained that all…

Keep Reading

Guy Fieri purchases Food City, will incorporate into Flavortown

in Business/Food/Drink

During the grand opening announcement for the new Fort Oglethorpe Food City, onlookers were shocked when television personality and celebrity chef Guy Fieri appeared announced he has purchased all local Food Citys and will relocate them to Flavortown.  “The Rockin’ Chattanooga and beyond Red Food, er Bi-Lo, ah Food Cities…

Keep Reading

TDOT advising everyone to just stay home during I-75/24 split construction

in Business

This week during a press conference discussing the plans of the upcoming I-75 and I-24 split construction, a representative for the Tennessee Department of Transportation announced that motorists should probably just stay home during the project. The construction, which will begin this summer, will bring devastation to the area that…

Keep Reading

John Wise begins rebuilding all properties after last weeks devastating earthquakes

in Business

Just one week after devastating earthquakes rocked the Tennessee Valley area, local developer John Wise announced rebuilding has begun after every one of his buildings was destroyed. Sources say the actual dollar value of buildings destroyed will total into the hundreds and possibly even thousand. Experts were stunned after literally…

Keep Reading

1 2 3 14
Go to Top