TVA accidentally releases the Kraken during flood preparations

During preparations for possible historic flooding this week, it was announced that TVA engineers accidentally released the Kraken while emptying out water reservoirs.

Sources say that while TVA was working with the Army Corps of Engineers to prepare for excessive water levels, the Navy, Air Force, Marines, and new Space Force have been additionally called in to deal with the recently released Kraken.

“Things are running rather smoothly as we being emptying the locks in prepOHHH SHHITTTTT”, explained TVA engineer Randy Davis, while being dragged into the depths of Lake Chickamauga by the mythical Kraken.

Previous Story

School closings blamed on children not vaccinated for cooties

Previous Story

Coyote Jacks releases new playlist of farm-themed songs after urban music ban

Latest from Business