Armadillo yoga

Encroaching armadillos inspire yoga trend

in Health

With armadillo sightings on the rise in southeast Tennessee, due to the nocturnal mammals’ attraction to warm climates, yoga enthusiasts have found a way to incorporate the animals into their sessions.

This follows a national trend, which has been embraced by Chattanoogans, to involve various animals in yoga classes, including horses, goats, kittens and puppies.

“Armadillos are adorable creatures, and we think that yoga is mutually beneficial for humans and armadillos, as well,” said yoga teacher Buttercup Sunshower. “Armadillos are like humans, as both can have troubled souls that reside inside hardened exteriors.”

“Like the armadillos’ armored shells, humans can build up psychological and emotional walls, which can be just as tough and impenetrable,” said Sunshower. “Did I just blow your mind?”

Scientists have pointed out that armadillos should be avoided, since they can spread leprosy to humans.

“Yes, the risk is there, but it’s a small price to pay for inner peace,” said Sunshower, before cuddling with an armadillo.

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children's children, and for our children's children's grandparents - which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible "Mmmrph! Mmmrph!" sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling - and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.