Developers urge city to address vacation-homeless issue

in Business/Politics

Local housing developers have urged the city government to address the vacation-homeless issue that has plagued Chattanooga – that is, the issue of homeowners who only have a primary residence and do not own a vacation home.

“Can you believe that the majority of Chattanooga homeowners only have one house and no vacation home?” said local developer Cyril Brimble-Scrivener. “No beach house, summer home on the lake, or even a measly pied-à-terre in Manhattan.”

The issue of vacation-homelessness has come to the forefront of Chattanooga politics in a time when a panhandling ordinance has been proposed and a new council was formed to tackle homelessness.

“It’s the American dream to raise a family in a beautiful house,” said Brimble-Scrivener. “And what’s twice as American as that? Having two beautiful houses.”

“Please, for heaven’s sake, let’s help these poor dirt-eating peasants who only have the one house,” said Brimble-Scrivener.

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