Monthly archive

January 2018

Amazon passes up East Ridge for HQ2

in Business

After much deliberation by Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, it was unfortunately announced that East Ridge would not be on the list to get Amazon’s second headquarters. The heartbreaking news was delivered by East Ridge Mayor Earl Ridge to its citizens as they tearfully retreated into the cities variety of pawn…

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Mayor Berke changes name to “Andy Bitcoin”

in Business/Politics
Andy Berke

At a press conference yesterday, Chattanooga Mayor Andy Berke announced that he had changed his name to “Andy Bitcoin.” “Boom!” said Berke, who arrived at the press conference riding a hoverboard and wearing futuristic wrap-around sunglasses and a shiny suit made of Mylar-like material. “Now that’s what I call the…

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