Local women transformed into fashion experts after visiting new H&M

in Business

Thousands of Chattanooga women were instantly transformed into fashion experts after simply visiting the newly opened H&M clothing store at the Hamilton Place Mall.

“I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it,” said resident Gladys Farngully. “They walked in as frumpy housewives. They walked out as chic, metropolitan sophisticates, speaking French.”

The H&M store, which opened Thursday, is one of thousands from the popular Swedish clothing retailer operating worldwide, which is known for bringing trendy fashions to mainstream consumers at reasonable prices.

“It’s only been open a few days, but pretty much, if you haven’t been to H&M, then you’re considered an uncivilized peasant,” said Farngully. “I used to go to Dress Barn, even though the name would make me feel like I was livestock.”

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children’s children, and for our children’s children’s grandparents – which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible “Mmmrph! Mmmrph!” sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling – and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.

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