“Hail Satan” license plates now available in Tenn.

in Politics

After Tennessee legislators passed a bill to allow residents to get license plates that bear the phrase “In God We Trust,” in the interest of religious diversity, other plates were made available that bear other religious phrases, including “Shalom,” “Namaste,” “Praise Jah” and “Hail Satan.”

“It’s only fair,” said State Senator Brody Printrip. “We should celebrate our diversity.”

“Yes, we are deep in the Bible Belt, but the freedom of religion is a constitutionally protected right,” said Printrip, holding up a license plate with the phrase “There’s No Prob With Bob.”

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children's children, and for our children's children's grandparents - which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible "Mmmrph! Mmmrph!" sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling - and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.

134 Comments

  1. Its not about being fair! Its about the correct thing to do. Thats where we as a society are failing. Hold people to standards stop being fair. It doesnt matter the beleifs lead by example. In God We Trust!! Lord help us all!

    Make America Great Again!
    Make the World a better place!

    • You make me sick to my stomach, and I’m Catholic…. Peace Love and understanding to the beliefs of others not kill em all… You are distorting my religion to fuel your incestuous hatred and as such is why people who follow for real must love in the shadows do we aren’t seen as one of you. My country is sick but BECAUSE of people like you, not because of the gays or the Muslims. It’s you, your hatred is making us all sick. Fix your problem.

      • David,

        THANK YOU! It’s because of people like “Fedup” people like me refuse to believe in religion at all. They distort it from the loving compassionate message that was intended to nothing but vile hate and bigotry. I wish there were more people like you who would stand up for what truly is right. To love thy neighbor, do on to others as you would have done on to you, and Judge not, that ye be not judged. And while I may not be “religious”, God bless you, for the world is blessed to have people like you.

      • Many more people have been killed through the belief of god than any other religion. The Satanic religion that most people follow is about respecting those around you unless threatened.

        • The people that kill in the name of God are killing in the name of their god, Satan, who is misleading the whole inhabited earth, the God of the Holy Scriptures is a God of love, the only True God who made us and gave us a beautiful home called Earth, those that do kill in the name of Christianity are not true Christians because true Christians do not kill for any purpose, they are commanded to love their neighbors and even their enemies, Satan is the one who brought the means to kill and murder people and turn them against God….

      • You are Catholic. You believe in what you have chosen to believe. I would just like to say that there are 2 different types of Satanism. One of which is very extreme and follows Lucifer as a true leader. The other one is an atheistic religion; we use Satan as a symbol of freedom from religion itself. We have morals to live by; but not forced upon.

        • 100% correct over 9 million people killed by the Catholic church in their history thru the crusades ,,,,,but we are a religion of love ,,,right

      • Poor baby. You need to read some history about how many ppl Catholics have tortured and murdered in the name of your false god.

      • Your ignorance is no excuse. You are the problem. Closed minds can’t learn or evolve/ move forward. A closed mind is stuck in a stagnant state of archaic failures ,walking in circles and into ancient walls…How are we supposed to get better while doing the same thing ? Open your eyes, mind, and heart. Debrief from your indoctrinated mind and learn something for yourself instead of blindly believing what the person standing in the front of the room is saying…May peace and love be upon you .

      • As a progressive atheist from Portland, Oregon, thank you David. You’re one of the good ones. Keep spreading the good word.

      • Yup! David, you got it right! Hit the nail right on the head! Your country is sick because it’s my country too, and Gawddamit I LIKE IT THAT WAY! My hatred of you is making you sick…well *Duh* That just means I’m doing my job, and doing it well! And it’s not just because catholic priests are child molesters (and before you say “They’re not ALL child molesters” you have to ask yourself how many child molesters is OK) It’s just that I really, really hate people like you and your vision of MY country.

    • You’re a piece of shit human being. “Hold people to standards? ” are you suggesting that everyone else must be forced to believe the same nonsense that you do? Fuck off!

      • Satanism is like Buddhism. Some sects do believe in the devil while most don’t and follow it for the philosophy. Like in Buddhism, some worship the buddha as a god while others just his teachings.

      • That depends on which Satanist you talk to. The Satanic Temple is a protest against unconstitutional mixing of religion with civic affairs and are more or less performance artists. The Temple of Set are most definitely Satanists, ie they worship an imaginary being like the christian god. The Church of Satan, who were more or less carneys, threw out Anton LaVey for not believing in Satan. IIRC his response was something like, “what are you stupid” ?

        • Dude, I’m positive that I knew you in highschool. You used to dress up like Dr. Who, Right? Dad was a linguistics professor, worked with Chomsky?
          I’m not sure how we can get in touch, but I give the Chattanooga Bystander my O.K. to give the Tim Halle who posted above (And only him) my E-mail.
          If you’re the guy I’m thinking of I hope you are well! Do the words “Archbishop’s Enema Fetish” Mean anything to you?

          • Sorry, Larry…I grew up in north Texas. And my dad is most definitely not a linguist. ☺️

    • Who are you to decide what the correct thing to do is? Your religion is no more important than mine, just as mine is no more important than yours.

    • Please shove that Bible of yours up your arse… Sick of hearing about your middle eastern cult and the sweaty carpenter at its epicentre being touted as the only valid option by people who have the intellectual capacity of a camel turd…

    • He correct thing to do is showing as much respect for other people’s believes as you want to receive for your believes.

    • what if these people think their religions are the right thing and christianity is false? hm? aren’t you supposed to love everyone as a christian anyways, no matter what their views are? that’s where we as a society are failing. hold people to standards of love and equality, not based on religion. it doesn’t matter the beliefs lead by example.

    • You can be fed up on one hand and crap in the other and see which one fills up first. ☺️ Why don’t you people understand that separation of church and state is IN YOUR BEST INTEREST??? This is NOT a difficult concept! That’s the ONLY reason the Satanic Church exists.

    • Yes, the ‘correct thing’ according to you. Do you realize that your way of thinking is in line with countries that stone and hang people for not following the State religion?
      Not everyone thinks or believes as you, and that is the BEAUTY of America. If you don’t like it, leave.

    • Yes, the ‘correct thing’ according to you. Do you realize that your way of thinking is in line with countries that stone and hang people for not following the State religion?
      Not everyone thinks or believes as you, and that is the BEAUTY of America. If you don’t like it, leave.

    • That is complete BS. Our country is built on freedom of religion, and if you don’t like it go to a country that only supports your religion.

    • Correct thing to do?!? It’s a license plate. If you need “In god we trust” on it then that shows you are the one with the problem.

    • No, it IS about being fair. You support one religion then you have to support them all. Just because YOU think your God is the only God doesn’t make you right. There are plenty of religions who also think their God is the only one. Personally, I think they are all equally ridiculous.

    • Go look up the tenets of Satanism.. if you really want to improve society, because Xians aren’t “making american great again” or the world a better place.

    • Yes. Let’s stop being fair. Let’s just use reasoning and logic and dump superstition and dogma. Since Judeo, Christian, and Islamic beliefs have been traumatic to humanity, let’s ban them. Instead of the Ten Commandments on public property, let’s put up the Seven Satanic Tenets. They make more sense anyway.

      SEVEN FUNDAMENTAL TENETS.

      1. One should strive to act with compassion and empathy towards all creatures in accordance with reason.

      2. The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.

      3. One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.

      4. The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo your own.
      Beliefs should conform to our best scientific understanding of the world. We should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit our beliefs.

      5. People are fallible. If we make a mistake, we should do our best to rectify it and resolve any harm that may have been caused.

      6. Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought.

      7. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word

    • This is why IN GOD WE TRUST has no place on a license plate. It’s got nothing to do with fairness. Personally, I don’t want to see this any more than anything else. If you don’t want people to shove their religious beliefs in your face, don’t expect to shove yours in theirs. Satan doesn’t belong on someone’s tag anymore than God. So people like YOU are the reason that people like ME have to look at Satan on a flippin’ license plate!

    • You dork. We are not a Christian Nation. We are not a Catholic or Baptist or Protestant or Any other Damn Religion Nation.

      We are a Secular Nation that Protects the Right to Worship Your Faith as you Wish.

      Your Right to Religious Freedom Ends at 2 Locations:

      1. The Property Line of your Church/Temple/Mosque

      2. The Property Line of your Home.

      Being Fair and Equal IS American.

      You don’t believe in the 1st Amendment if you can’t accept it prohibits you from telling others How to believe what they believe because you don’t agree.

    • Lord help us write in complete sentences, use commas when they’re needed, quote marks in contractions and to spell things correctly.

    • The great thing about religion is that everyone can decide what “the correct thing to do” means. Religion is about picking and choosing any passage from any book you decide is holy and interpret it’s meaning according to your values. Don’t believe me? Ask a catholic and a protestant is they interpret things the same way. Ask if a christian, a jew and a muslim interpret the Old Testament the same way. Who is right? The muslim if you happen to be muslim. Or the jew if you’re jewish.
      See, the correct thing is different for everyone.
      YOU probably assume YOU are right. Just keep in mind others will assume you are wrong.

    • I’m just really sad for people who require the government to give everyone to post statements supporting their faith. Apparently unless we are all coerced into reminding you what you believe, you will lose your way. What a flimsy, weak faith you have that everyone else must not only be silenced, but be coerced to promote yours.

    • Actually, it is about being fair. This is completely fair and only offensive to people of your faith. YOU are what’s keeping America from being “great”.

    • We live in a country founded on the separation of church and state. You have a right to be Christian; but you have no right to force me to follow your beliefs. So, any belief system is rightfully (by order of the constitution) represented. Imposing ANY religious belief or rules on others is, by definition, Sharia law. And I’ll bet you Re very much against that

    • Yes, take America back to even a year ago when America was respected and seen as a leader of nations and other leaders spoke with our President. Not like last week when no one wanted to be seen speaking with Mr. Trump

    • So if it’s not YOUR religion it’s wrong? Actually you are what’s wrong with this country.

      Make our country free again

    • The correct thing to-do is to condemn rape and slavery. Your god doesn’t do that. Get off your high horse and realize the Bible is seriously flawed.

    • That’s a bunch of hate speech sir or mam. I support your right to say ignorant things on the internet, but you are no better than hitler saying stuff like that. May the force be with you.

    • Hail Satan, my imaginary friend is better than your imaginary friend. How bout this…grow up and stop letting mythology control your life and actions. That’s all it is mythology. You are a grown ass adult. It’s time to quit believing in fairy tales.

    • Fuck you. This country was founded on individual freedoms. Our forefathers created the Establishment Clause for a reason; they were fleeing Europe and it’s religious persecution. They would be ashamed that we have not moved forward with their designs in nearly 250 years. You are what is wrong with our society. You are what hinders human progress. You’ve had 2000 years to prove that your god is real and your god is the correct one. Let’s see your proof. Your undeniable empirical evidence. Oh. you don’t have any? Weird. Looks like your parents brainwashed you to think a fairy tale is real. Maybe it’s time to grow up.

    • Newsflash junior – tje words ‘God’ and ‘Jesus’ appear NOWHERE in the U.S. Constitution.

      The only mention of a ‘creator’ is in the Declaration of Independence…written 18 YEARS before the Construction was completed. AND written to inflame hearts and get people ready for war… and nothing gets people more eager to kill than pretending they have god on their side.

      You’re not “fed up”.

      You’re a spoiled coward.

    • what a blind, idiotic hypocrite you are.. You have no idea what freedom actually means. You’re just an easily offended, uneducated snowflake that follows the masses blindly. What a fool.

    • Dude: the worlds a better place when we do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Thats the golden rule and thats why we fight for fairness.

  2. I would love one that simply has the Pentacle (Two points upwards version) and the words “Blessed Be” on it. Way to go Tenn. for being forward thinking.

      • A pentagram is the term for a five-pointed star (no matter which way it points.) It’s a geometric term for the five pointed star drawn with equal strokes. A pentacle is a five-pointed star within a circle (again, regardless of how many points are up.) Though, pentacle has been known to be used interchangeably with pentagram.

        It has been used as a mystical symbol for thousands of years. It was even used as a depiction of Christ’s wounds on the cross. The “demonic” connotation came into play during the renaissance.

        Fun fact: The Church of Satan does not worship the Christian deity of Lucifer. They are more akin to a humanist philosophy than any religion. They are atheists, and as such, do not believe in any god or divine being (Christian Satan included.) It’s a pretty fascinating and very “light side” organization if people actually bother to read their philosophies.

      • Really, what’s on the license plate is an inverted pentacle. The five-pointed star which is used in both satanism and paganism is the pentagram (or inverted pentagram when it’s 2 points up), and a pentacle is simply a pentagram in a circle.

    • The Wiccan pentacle is one point up, silly!!! That’s why the Satanic pentagram is point down, to be adverse to Wicca, as LaVey hates the Wiccan belief system just as much as he hates the Christian and any other “white light” systems.

  3. Self-registering government badges for religious identification? What a frightening fact to be boosting about. That’s never been a good sign.

    • My State offers a yellow licence plate with a snake.
      The Union Federalist government already knows I have a CCW permit.
      I am an honest man I got it.

  4. Glad to see a Sate encouraging and celebrating religious diversity. Our founding fathers would be proud to see it.

    • Our founding fathers would take you out on a rail, then draw and quarter you and leave your head in the center of town. They made our country on freedom of religion, from the Catholic church, the church of England, but welcomed, threatened Jews, Muslims, Hinduism and any other religions based on God not the devil. Get an education on our history, not from the public schools that has one page on WWII and barley memtions Vietnam. Got to a library and read ,study, your probably one of the ones that was taught that the Civil War was faught over slavery only. DA

    • As a non-Christian, I’m okay when Christians pray for me. It’s positive energy directed at me, going into the universe.

      I guess it’s better than the judging and saber rattling that I would have expected otherwise.

      BTW, many of us poly-theists ask our own energies for consideration for Christians as well. May Thor keep the storms at bay while you enjoy the outdoors.

  5. This image is obviously Photoshopped. Look at the actual text and compare it to the other text on th plate.

  6. You do understand that this is satire, right? The author’s name is Francis Porkloin, ffs. Read the WHOLE thing before you spout.

  7. Mythology is mythology. Hail Satan, praise God… it’s all to make ourselves feel better and give closure. It’s no more real than wingardium leviosa, so rock on.

  8. Wow, they’re giving me praises? Am I truly praiseworthy in Tennessee? Thank you Republicans and Bible belt and watch me on Fox Lucifer on Fox

  9. All hail the great pasta god and his noodly appendages. He’s real. We have a book he’s in. Just like your imaginary friend.

  10. I think it’s awesome that this happened. Every state should implement the same fairness! And to Thelma Wellman, I’m thinking that anyone that has one of these plates on their car isn’t looking for some Christian to pray for them, and why would you think they would need that anyway?! Pray for yourself that you’re already “judging”…You’re not supposed to do that as a”good Christian” , are you?

  11. There are two sides to a river, so it’s freedom of religion for all religions to include Satanists, tree, sun, moon, star worshipers and whatever 288 religions that exist in the world. Christians have to share some of the water.

  12. Are they serious!!! A state that has so much Christian morals here. They say this is God’s country and they want this on the plate. I pray to God that it is a mistake!!!

  13. Get thee behind me Satan because I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!!!

    Now all of you smart, forward thinking, peaceful and loving satanists can start posting all your Christian bashing micro sentences by telling me how stupid, hateful and full of shit I am for believing in and loving MY OWN personal Lord & Savior Jesus Christ.

    Please don’t get me wrong. If you are a satanist and want a satanic license plate then by all means get one. Have services and fellowship in your local Satanic Temple if that’s your thing. You have free will and every right to do so. But don’t you dare twist and try turn my Christian beliefs into something they absolutely are not. In other words, enjoy your life by living it how you like. That is your prerogative.

    “Don’t Tread on Me”
    “God Bless America”

    “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life” – John 3:16

  14. There is no such thing as a Hail Satan Tennessee license plate. Scroll to the bottom where it says this:

    Copyright 2017 Chattanooga Bystander. This site is satire, fiction, and intended only for those age 18 and over. Names used in articles are fictional, unless those of public figures or entities as the subject of satire.

    Lol 🙂

  15. IDIOT ALERT!

    “Copyright 2017 Chattanooga Bystander. This site is satire, fiction, and intended only for those age 18 and over. Names used in articles are fictional, unless those of public figures or entities as the subject of satire.”

  16. Keep your phony fish and bible out of my face and i will keep Satan out of yours. There is NO STATE RELIGION, asshole

  17. License plates are required by government. Produced with government funds. Separation of church and state. No religion on license plates. Get a bumper sticker. Problem solved.

  18. You all know this site is satire/fake news like The Onion, right? Scroll to the very bottom and read their disclaimer telling you so. Sites like this that don’t post up front that they are satire are why we can’t have nice things… like Hail Satan plates. Im so disappointed. Fuck you, Chattanoobe Bystander.

  19. Christopher Blackwell
    JULY 10, 2017 AT 12:18 AM
    Glad to see a Sate encouraging and celebrating religious diversity. Our founding fathers would rape children who they bought and sold. It’s what wealthy pedophiles did back then.

    I fixed that for you, Christopher.

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