Times Free Press announces new web series of Lesley Dale just playing on her phone

in Business
In an effort to bring in more asinine comments to its Facebook page, the Chattanooga Times Free Press announced plans for a new web series of digital reporter Lesley Dale staring into her phone.
Lesley Dale became the Time Free Press digital reporter after local legend and male model Harrison Keely left for Las Vegas over a year ago. He is still greatly missed.
“We believe viewers with literally nothing else to do during the day will be excited about our new program,” explained Times Free Press spokesmen Michael Coleman. “Ms. Dale will inform everyone she is here at the TFP and then immediately launch into fiddling around on her phone for thirty to forty-five minutes.”