Poll: Handful of warm cottage cheese more popular than four mayoral candidates

in Politics
A recent poll of eligible Chattanooga voters has revealed that most would prefer to have a handful of warm cottage cheese as the next mayor of Chattanooga instead of any of the four mayoral candidates: incumbent Andy Berke, David Crockett, Larry Grohn and Chris Long.

“A handful of warm cottage cheese is a viable write-in candidate,” said local political analyst Kris Collendair.

“Voters are looking at the current slate of candidates and are not happy,” said Collendair. “You’re looking at the status quo and ineffective policies for reducing violence, or certain outdated civil-rights stances regarding LGBT issues or making Chattanooga essentially a suburb of Atlanta by advocating a high-speed rail system between the two cities.”

“This handful of warm cottage cheese is just the no-nonsense candidate that people can relate to,” said Collendair.

Polls are open today for the Chattanooga mayoral election from 8 a.m. to 7 p.m.

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