Monthly archive

February 2017

Larry Grohn to play Wolverine in next X-Men movie

in Culture/Politics
Larry Grohn as Wolverine

After actor Hugh Jackman announced his intention last year to step down from portraying the comic-book character Wolverine, Marvel Entertainment announced that it has hired Chattanooga mayoral candidate and District 4 Councilman Larry Grohn to be the new Wolverine. “I am super pumped to portray this hairy mutant,” said Grohn.…

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Trump arrives in Chattanooga for Southside Social’s new dress code unveiling

in Business/Politics

After months of these darn kids causing a ruckus, Chattanooga’s Southside Social announced a new dress code that will be unveiled by none other than President Donald J Trump. The arrival comes after a representative from the establishment vowed to “Make Southside Social Great Again!”. Experts believe some new requirements…

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Andy Berke releases Larry Grohn’s grandson’s Algebra homework

in Politics

After a week of grueling debates between candidates¬†for the 2017 Chattanooga Mayorship, Andy Berke has announced he has uncovered opponent Councilman Larry Grohn’s grandson’s Algebra homework. The revelation comes just days after Grohn¬†released some bullshit he thought was worthwhile against Berke. Experts believe Councilman Larry Grohn secretly helped his grandson…

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