Local elderly woman claims creepy clowns are cause of gas shortages

in Culture

In a social networking post made by 73 year old Chattanooga native Doris Knight, residents of the area should be on the lookout for persons of interest dressed as clowns who are stealing gas from area gas stations.

The post was made after reports of Doris missing a dose of her medication and mixing local stories together early this afternoon.

“They are coming here, wearing clown masks, and taking all of the gases”, exclaimed Knight. “I can only assume they are filling their clown shoes with gas and luring children into the woods with BI-LO fuel perks.”

Miss Knight went on to claim law enforcement is not doing enough to address the situation because they are wasting our tax dollars by throwing away the Mayor’s meals behind Las Margaritas.