Cleveland Police ask criminals to postpone crimes until prison overcrowding resolved

in Politics

After the Bradley County Jail became so overcrowded that Cleveland Police officers were instructed to possibly retain inmates in their patrol cars, the police department made a public plea, asking people to postpone any criminal activities until the prison overcrowding issue had been resolved.

“Please, do us a solid this one time and just hold off on your criminal shenanigans for a little while,” said Cleveland Police Chief Rodger Butterfelden. “We are up to our tits in inmates.”

As of Thursday, the Bradley County Jail held 558 prisoners, while it was only certified to hold 408 inmates, and offenders could be found draped over desks, nodding off while leaning against walls, and sleeping head-to-toe, two or three per bunk.

“These prisoners are getting really cozy with each other here, like that swinger party we busted up back in ’97,” said Butterfelden, whispering, while tip-toeing over inmates sleeping on the floor. “Aw, would you look at that? They are all plumb tuckered out, like kids at a slumber party.”
Prison (Used under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license. Source)
Prison (Used under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license. Source)

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