July 2016

Chattanooga Whiskey just one loyalty card punch away from free building

After announcing plans to possibly/maybe expand operations into a former car dealership, a representative from the local liquor company Chattanooga Whiskey surprised onlookers by revealing a “plan 4 expansions get 1 free” Chattanooga commercial real estate punch card. Over the last several years, Chattanooga Whiskey publicized plans to expand into at least three separate buildings,

Local Dems seek more Wilkinsons for State Senate race


Area Democrats are seeking to raise more Wilkinsons for the State Senate District 10 race, to face Republican incumbent Todd Gardenhire. “It’s all about the Wilkinsons!” said Rowan Thirth, Director of the Hamilton County Democratic Party. “Gotta have more Wilkinsons if we want to defeat Gardenhire.” The District 10 Democratic Party primary race currently has

Bella Vita lights appear for local bar’s two-year anniversary


During preparations for the Chattanooga bar and restaurant, The Bitter Alibi’s two-year anniversary¬†celebration, employees were shocked to discover a massive search light had appeared on the third floor of the establishment. After further examination, the spot lights were uncovered to be from the troubled Southside nightclub Bella Vita, whose giant florescent display has not been

Walmart offers wine to dull pain of shopping at Walmart


The department store and supermarket chain Walmart began offering wine in its Tennessee stores today in order to let customers dull the pain of having to shop at Walmart. “This is great news,” said local shopper Blake Wolfhund. “Whenever I shop at Walmart on a Saturday afternoon, after a few minutes of enduring screaming, out-of-control