Super Soaker 50 named Chattanooga’s official water gun

in Culture/Politics

After Tennessee officials announced plans for a .50 caliber rifle as the state’s official rifle, Chattanooga officials have named the Super Soaker 50 as the city’s official water gun.

Experts believe the Super Soaker is a neutral weapon, which does not expose the penis size of those calling for a state gun.

“Behold, the River City weapon of choice,” exclaimed councilman Chris Anderson, while leaning over and filling a Super Soaker tank full of Tennessee River water from Ross’s Landing.