Pope Francis stopping in Chattanooga to compete in IRONMAN

in Culture/Sports/Rec

Jorge Mario Bergoglio aka Pope Francis announced during his visit to the United States that he plans to make a stop in Chattanooga over the weekend. He surprised onlookers by revealing he has entered the IRONMAN competition.

imageThis marks the first time in history that any living Pope has participated in the IRONMAN competition.

“Blessed be the IRONMAN competitors, who shall be destroyed by this old Pope,” exclaimed Pope Francis, while slipping into a white pair of blessed biker shorts.

Pope assistants reportedly applied tire upgrades to the Pope mobile bike to protect against the impending tar and nails in the Lafayette portion of the race.