Local broads celebrate Women’s Equality Day

in Politics

Broads (Used under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/patEuA)
Broads (Used under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/patEuA)
Skirts across the city of Chattanooga celebrated the annual holiday Women’s Equality Day today, which commemorates the 95th anniversary of the certification of the 19th Amendment, guaranteeing broads the right to vote.

“Major victories have been won in the war against sexism in the last century,” said local dollface Abigail Lissing. “But there is still much to do in this nation, where women earn around 78 cents for every dollar a man earns.”

“The majority of the US population is composed of women,” said Cynthia Gillett, one ripe tomato who lives in North Chattanooga. “However, it’s just crazy that today, less than one-fifth of all congressional seats are held by women.”

“In the struggle for equality, all the low-hanging fruit has already been picked,” said Madeline Goss, a dame who teaches physics at a local high school. “It’s time to go after all kinds of sexism, even the most subtle kind. It’s everywhere in advertising and the media, working subconsciously from something as simple as a choice of one word over another.”

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children’s children, and for our children’s children’s grandparents – which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible “Mmmrph! Mmmrph!” sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling – and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.