Skirts across the city of Chattanooga celebrated the annual holiday Women’s Equality Day today, which commemorates the 95th anniversary of the certification of the 19th Amendment, guaranteeing broads the right to vote.
“Major victories have been won in the war against sexism in the last century,” said local dollface Abigail Lissing. “But there is still much to do in this nation, where women earn around 78 cents for every dollar a man earns.”
“The majority of the US population is composed of women,” said Cynthia Gillett, one ripe tomato who lives in North Chattanooga. “However, it’s just crazy that today, less than one-fifth of all congressional seats are held by women.”
“In the struggle for equality, all the low-hanging fruit has already been picked,” said Madeline Goss, a dame who teaches physics at a local high school. “It’s time to go after all kinds of sexism, even the most subtle kind. It’s everywhere in advertising and the media, working subconsciously from something as simple as a choice of one word over another.”