Cleveland TN adopts “Eunuchs only” policy for future Police Chiefs

in Politics

Police department of Cleveland, TN
Police department of Cleveland, TN
After Cleveland, Tenn. Police Chief Dennis Maddux served only one day in the position before being reassigned to his previous position, city officials announced that it would enact a “Eunuchs only” policy for the hiring of future Police Chiefs.

Police officer Jeff Griggs claimed that Maddux was kissing his wife Cindy Griggs in a parked car just over the Bradley County line, which resulted in Cindy Griggs being allegedly bitten by Jeff Griggs when she took his camera’s memory card.

In late 2013, Cleveland Police Chief Wes Snyder suddenly retired after video footage emerged showing Snyder and a woman who was not his wife entering a storage unit that was apparently a love nest, with pillows, blankets and a bottle of brandy.

“This nonsense has got to stop,” said City of Cleveland representative Alex Moreschi. “We need a Police Chief who will think with his head, not his tallywhacker.”

City officials clarified that future Police Chiefs do not necessarily have to be a castrated male; in the case of a female Police Chief, she would need to have undergone an oophorectomy–removal of the ovaries–or demonstrate decreased libido as that which may occur with menopause.

“It takes a lot to be a Police Chief. You need to be a strong leader who is wise and patient, not testy,” said Moreschi. “It takes confidence and courage, and it also takes a pair of brass balls. But just not the fleshy kind, anymore.”

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