Benevolent UTC fraternities encourage sororities to take Ice Bucket Challenge

in Education/Health
Ice Bucket Challenge (Used under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/oybzJp)
Ice Bucket Challenge (Used under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/oybzJp)

In a remarkable show of altruism, fraternities at the University of Tennessee Chattanooga (UTC) have challenged local sororities to take the Ice Bucket Challenge to promote awareness of ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease.

“There has been some confusion about the Ice Bucket Challenge, with some people not knowing that it’s about ALS awareness,” said fraternity member and UTC senior Toby Glennerster. “That’s why we have made these special white t-shirts for the sorority sisters to wear during the challenge, that read ‘The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge gets me wet.'”

“We recommend that the sisters don’t wear colored or patterned bras under the shirts, because they can make the words hard to read,” said Glennerster. “It’s best to just not wear a bra. We want the message to be perfectly clear.”

“Also, the t-shirt maker only had petite-sized shirts,” said Glennerster. “Hope that’s OK.”

The Ice Bucket Challenge involves benefactors dumping buckets of ice water on themselves while pledging a donation toward ALS research and challenging others to do the same.

“Of course, having video documentation of these young women participating in philanthropy is absolutely essential,” said Glennerster. “A shaky smartphone video just won’t cut it. An occasion like this deserves multiple ultra high definition cameras, capturing every angle, so it can be played back in slow-motion with a Marvin Gaye soundtrack.”

“It’s all about charity,” said Glennerster.

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children’s children, and for our children’s children’s grandparents – which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible “Mmmrph! Mmmrph!” sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling – and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.