Chatter Magazine changes name to “Photos of Rich White People”

in Culture
Rich white people (Used under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/busxpL)
Rich white people (Used under the CC-BY-SA-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/busxpL)

The Chattanooga-based magazine Chatter changed its name this week to Photos of Rich White People in order to more precisely describe its contents.

“Our staff is dedicated to creating a magazine jam-packed with photos of Chattanooga’s beautiful and handsome bourgeoisie, smugly patting each other on the back with self-satisfaction at charity balls or award ceremonies,” said editor-in-chief Lee Bocatelli at a press conference yesterday afternoon. “And our new name is a reflection of that.”

“We want to show the wide diversity of people who are affluent WASPs in Chattanooga,” said Bocatelli. “We have outdoorsy adventure hippies who are chiropractors and acupuncturists, we have well-dressed, stylish trust-fund kids who have never held real jobs, we have artists who sell artwork exclusively for the lobbies of hotels and bank offices and we have your old-school sugar daddies who look like Boss Hogg from The Dukes of Hazzard.”

“There’s nothing more interesting to rich white people than other rich white people, so it makes both readers and advertisers happy,” said Bocatelli.

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children's children, and for our children's children's grandparents - which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible "Mmmrph! Mmmrph!" sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling - and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.