Local pub uses Kickstarter to raise funds to pass health inspection

in Business/Food/Drink/Health
(Used under the CC-BY-SA-3.0 license. Source: tinyurl.com/kk7va7d)
(Used under the CC-BY-SA-3.0 license. Source: tinyurl.com/kk7va7d)

Last week, local Irish pub Shane MacGowan’s Teeth closed its doors after failing two inspections by the Tennessee Division of General Environmental Health, which cited several critical violations involving food handling practices.

However, the pub has started a crowd-sourcing Kickstarter campaign in order to raise money to pay for renovations in order to pass future health inspections so that it may open for business again.

The Kickstarter campaign hopes to raise $20,000 to fund the changes necessary to allow the restaurant to be compliant with health standards in addition to paying for several unrelated enhancements.

“I can’t wait for us to open our doors again, so all you magnificent freaks, rednecks, creepers, perverts, assholes and shitheads can come back and enjoy our grub,” said pub owner Avery Mountbatter.

“It’s sad that ‘The Man’ is trying to keep us down by making us jump through all these bureaucratic hoops that they claim will keep our customers safe and not suffering from food poisoning and opening the sluices at both ends,” said Mountbatter.

“It’s true that we could theoretically apply for a small business loan or tap into our own private funds,” said Mountbatter. “But with Kickstarter, we have an easy and widely accepted way to essentially beg for money and take advantage of kind and generous people’s goodwill and feeling of fraternal obligation.”

“Never let a good crisis go to waste,” said Mountbatter.

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children’s children, and for our children’s children’s grandparents – which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible “Mmmrph! Mmmrph!” sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling – and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.