Chattanooga goes wild over new, mediocre restaurant

in Food/Drink
Adequate burger (Used under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/7PpQLa)
Adequate burger (Used under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/7PpQLa)

The collective populace of Chattanooga is going completely batshit crazy over the opening of a new chain restaurant which serves common, acceptable food.

Although patrons may expect to wait a minimum of one hour before being seated, that has not deterred any customers from coming and ordering a variety of sandwiches, burgers and fried food.

The restaurant is part of the highly successful B.M.I. Saturday’s franchise which offers standard American casual dining, without any surprises.

“This place isn’t some fancy-pants restaurant that’s trying to show off,” said local customer Harris Kasterson. “It’s not lagging behind, either. It’s right in the middle, the way I like it.”

“I love the chicken fingers,” said Ooltewah resident Andie Prestyn. “They’re pretty much like the chicken strips you can get at McDonald’s, but here they’re served on a plate, which is a nice touch.”

Analysts predict that B.M.I. Saturday’s may soon be Chattanooga’s favorite restaurant, besting both Sushi, Mayo and More and Greasy Italian Restaurant You Only Go To On Birthdays To Take Advantage Of The Free Birthday Meal.

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