Pat Benatar forms union for Chattanooga Volkswagen auto workers

in Business
Pat Benatar and Volkswagen auto workers
Pat Benatar and Volkswagen auto workers

All eyes are on automaker Volkswagen’s Chattanooga plant after the company announced that it is talking with United Auto Workers (UAW) about the idea of a German-style works council, rather than a more traditional American labor union.

Tennessee is one of twenty-four right-to-work states in the U.S.A., and the National Right to Work Legal Defense Foundation has entered the ring, offering free legal advice to Volkswagen workers in case they are pressured to join the UAW.

In the meantime, 80s pop singer Pat Benatar took quick action and brought solidarity to Volkswagen’s auto workers by forming a union here in Chattanooga, which was announced at a press conference earlier today.

“We are strong,” Benatar said at a ceremony in front of Volkswagen’s Chattanooga plant, to a crowd of reporters and Volkswagen employees.

Benatar, a featured act at the 2005 Riverbend Festival, then said, “No one can tell us we’re wrong.”

When asked about wage negotiations and performance-based bonuses, Benatar simply replied, “No promises, no demands.”

Benatar then stepped away from the podium and led the plant’s 3,500 auto workers in a dance, with all shaking their shoulders from side to side vigorously as they walked away.

“Whoa-oo-whoa-oo-whoa-oo-whoa-oo-whoa-oo-whoa-oo-whoa-oo-whoa-oo-waaaaah,” concluded Benatar.

Francis Porkloin is a reporter for today, for you, for me, for us, for our children, for our children's children, and for our children's children's grandparents - which is us, again. Francis Porkloin is devoted to giving a voice to all people, including those who do not have mouths or have had them wired shut and can only make incomprehensible "Mmmrph! Mmmrph!" sounds. Francis Porkloin is committed to delivering the unbiased truth and telling the stories that others have no interest in telling - and that the public has no interest in hearing. Francis Porkloin is a Sagittarius.