Riverbend attendees urged to pretend they’re at Bonnaroo, not shower to conserve water

in Culture/Riverbend

After Tennessee American Water asked customers east of Missionary Ridge to curb water usage, due to major repair work on a broken valve, Riverbend attendees were urged to pretend they’re at Bonnaroo by not showering. “Some consider Riverbend to be the cheaper, county-fair-style alternative to the more renowned Bonnaroo,” said…

Keep Reading

Bryan College President Stephen Livesay forcing faith and family night performers to sign statement of belief

in Education/Riverbend

While acts were arriving for Riverbend’s annual Faith and Family night, Bryan College President Stephen Livesay was spotted forcing artists so sign a statement of belief, an act he was highly scrutinized for some years ago. Sources say Livesay quickly approached headliner Crowder as he arrived at the festival grounds,…

Keep Reading

Bessie Smith descendants recall her favorite hipster craft beer bars during Strut

in Culture/Riverbend

While hundreds crowd Martin Luther King Jr Boulevard for Riverbend’s Bessie Smith Strut, descendants of the late Chattanooga singer reflect of her favorite hipster craft beer spots. Reporters caught up with Smith’s descendants as they enjoyed the Strut’s fried chicken offerings while surrounded by a group of drunk caucasians. “When…

Keep Reading

Singing man shocks Riverbend Festival attendees with profanity-ridden performance (NOT REAL)

in Culture/Riverbend

During his Saturday night performance at the 2017 Riverbend Festival, former Eagles member song singing man sent attendances home shocked and upset with his profanity-laced lyrics. All of this happened just an hour before the 9:30 headliner Ludacris took the stage with his family friendly show. The night began to…

Keep Reading

Riverbend headliner Toby Keith investigated for sharing secret guitar riffs with Saudis

in Culture/Politics

Three weeks after country music star and Riverbend headliner Toby Keith performed in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia to an all-male audience, taking place during President Trump’s first overseas trip, it was reported that Keith was being investigated for sharing secret guitar riffs with the Saudi government. “We need to get to…

Keep Reading

Sen. Corker Googles “How to remove bumper sticker without damaging paint”

in Politics

Senator Bob Corker has Googled the phrase “How to remove bumper sticker without damaging paint,” reports say. This news comes one day after Corker, chairman of the Foreign Relations Committee, made comments to reporters about the White House, saying, “Obviously they’re in a downward spiral right now.” “Man, I just…

Keep Reading

City eliminates all crime by closing one convenience store

in Business/Politics

In one astounding move, the City of Chattanooga eliminated all crime, including gang activity and drug deals, by closing down a single convenience store: the Westside Shop. “Why didn’t we think of this earlier?” said a representative from the Hamilton County District Attorney’s office. “Who would’ve thought it would be…

Keep Reading

1 2 3 34
Go to Top