David Blaine to return to Chattanooga to drink glass of unboiled tap water

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After performing last year at Chattanooga’s Tivoli Theatre, street magician and death-defying endurance artist David Blaine said that he would be making a surprise return to Chattanooga this weekend to perform one of the riskiest stunts of his career: to drink an entire glass of tap water that has not been boiled, despite Tennessee American

Residents urged to conserve water except hospitals, bikini car washes

In response to a water outage caused by a 36-inch water main break, Chattanooga residents are urged to conserve water while service is being restored, except for hospitals and bikini car washes. “Please, let’s all try to be responsible citizens during this challenging time, and only use water for the most important reasons, like when

Ample supply of local craft beer to replace water

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After a water main break occurred Thursday evening, disrupting water supplies to areas including downtown and North Chattanooga, local breweries came to the rescue by replacing water with delicious craft beer. “As you know, there have been over 70 new breweries that have opened up in Chattanooga in the last five years,” said local brewer

Four new chicken plants to open downtown to meet chicken sandwich demand

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While rampant speculation remains about whether or not developer John Wise intends to facilitate the move of the Pilgrim’s Pride chicken plant from downtown to property he purchased in Dade County, Georgia, it was announced today that four new chicken plants would open in downtown Chattanooga to meet the high demand for chicken sandwiches. “People

All city areas to be renamed after New York City neighborhoods

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An agreement between the city of Chattanooga and local developers was made to gradually rename all parts of Chattanooga after New York City neighborhoods. “The ‘West Village’ of Chattanooga was our test run, and it has been a resounding success,” said local developer Trudy Bendberry. “When you stroll past the outdoor ‘ARTSY’ word sculpture, you

BREAKING: City Council rules all businesses must include “nooga” in their name

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After weeks of controversial debates over the new ordinance, members of the Chattanooga City Council unanimously voted to require all area businesses to include the word “nooga” in their name. Sources say the new ordinance will include a fee that new businesses must pay, which will go towards renewing the license on the Chatype font,

Mayor Berke apologizes for forgetting to pay the city’s internet bill yesterday

After tens of people took to social media to voice their complaints of not having internet for two hours for video gaming, Chattanooga Mayor Andy Berke stepped up and admitted his mistake of forgetting to pay the city’s internet bill, which was due by 5pm on Jun 25th. “It must have slipped my mind,” explained

Riverbend influence is seen at Bonnaroo as stages are raised 50 feet into the air

As the gates opened for the Bonnaroo music festival in Manchester, Tennessee this past week, festival attendees were pleased to discover the world famous and highly admired insanely high stages of Chattanooga’s Riverbend music festival had made their way to the farm. Experts believe organizers for the up and coming Bonnaroo music festival searched high

Festival rules say Riverbend wristbands must be worn until death

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Attendees of the newly revamped 4-day Riverbend Festival, which began today, were shocked to learn that their admission wristbands must be worn until they die. “I knew that you weren’t allowed to remove your wristband until the end of the festival,” said Riverbend attendee Butch Ausphot, while squinting at the wristband. “But by golly, there

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